Saturday, March 9, 2013
Dianne Feinstein Claims It's Legal To Hunt Humans
Greg Gutfeld: Bin Laden Son In Law Charged As A Citizen
Greg Gutfeld has a way with words that just rings so true. The the way that Gutfeld crafts sentences makes you wish you had said it exactly like her did. See some great and current Gutfeld dialog here.
THE 5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THIS CONCLUDES THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
Has Russia found 14 MILLION-year-old bacteria sealed in an underground Antarctic lake?
- Russian scientists have discovered 'unknown' bacteria that has never been seen before
- Discovery made in the waters of the unique sub-glacial Lake Vostok
By MARK PRIGG
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Russian scientists believe they may have discovered new life forms sealed off for 14 million years in a subglacial lake deep under the Antarctic ice.
Scientists say the icy darkness of Lake Vostok, under 3,700 metres of ice, may provide a glimpse of the planet before the Ice Age and clues to life on other planets.
'After excluding all known contaminants, bacterial DNA was found that does not match any known species in world databases,' Sergei Bulat of the St Petersburg Nuclear Physics Institute told a Russian news agency.
Drilling into history: Russian researchers have reached Lake Vostok, and believe they may have found evidence of previously unseen bacterial life in water samples - although they need further research to confirm
Pretty Awesome: the scale of the Universe
Drag The Bar To Scale out to the Universe or In to the Innerverse..
Florida Blogs
Mike
Hugo Chavez: Hero To Realtors In South Florida
With the death of Hugo Chavez, the real estate market here in Florida will need to wait and see what the verdict will be: more wealth flight from Venezuela and a continuation of real estate purchases in Florida or the end of the liquid cash flow from the oppressed business class of Venezuela.
We Need It...
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Friday, March 8, 2013
So The Government Killing People Is Ok...
Tell me again how sprinkling a little water on illegal combatants is against Geneva Conventions?
Climate Change Science Poised to Enter Nation's Classrooms
New standards recommend teaching man-made global warming in all science classes. Some textbook publishers to incorporate curriculum immediately.
The Next Generation Science Standards, written with 26 states and set to be released this month, recommend teaching the scientific consensus of human-caused climate change in all science classes. The nation's largest education publishers are already studying how to incorporate them into their materials. Credit: woodleywonderworks, flickr
New national science standards that make the teaching of global warming part of the public school curriculum are slated to be released this month, potentially ending an era in which climate skepticism has been allowed to seep into the nation's classrooms.
The Next Generation Science Standards were developed by the National Research Council, the National Science Teachers Association, the American Association for the Advancement of Science, the nonprofit Achieve and more than two dozen states. They recommend that educators teach the evidence for man-made climate change starting as early as elementary school and incorporate it into all science classes, ranging from earth science to chemistry. By eighth grade, students should understand that "human activities, such as the release of greenhouse gases from burning fossil fuels, are major factors in the current rise in Earth’s mean surface temperature (global warming)," the standards say.
I Have Finally Figured Out How To Ban Hammers Forever
We will make it so expensive to make hammers that their cost will be prohibitive to make, to purchase or to insure. Hundreds of people are killed every year with hammers, this would be worth hundreds of millions in lawsuits.
No one should have a right to own a hammer and now there is a way to finally rid society of these evil objects that has created so much death, destruction and sore thumbs. We need to immediately have a national discussion about making hammer manufacturers liable for the damage that their products cause.