Saturday, April 19, 2014
The snake who really bit off more than it could chew: Centipede EATS its way out viper's stomach
Unlucky: A snake was found dead with a centipede's head sticking out of its abdomen in Macedonia last year by a group of researchers who reported their findings in a journal published in March
Freedom was so close, yet so far for this centipede. After being swallowed whole by a snake, it made one last desperate attempt to escape by eating its way out of her stomach on Golem Grad, Macedonia. Researchers believe that the 20cm young snake may have underestimated the size of the prey and paid a fatal price.
Friday, April 18, 2014
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Master Of All I Survey..
More On Nutjob Vegans:
Vegetarian Thanksgiving
Nut Job Vegans Make Website And Threaten Ex-Vegans Tempted By The Fruit Of Another Piece Of Bacon
I hope you choke on a vegan pizza while crying over a lady gaga song.....
Please do not View this Post unless you are a Vegan
Anne Hathaway's Descent Into Madness
Study: Vegetarians Less Healthy, Lower Quality Of Life Than Meat-Eaters
Study: Undocumented Immigrants Get 100% Of Their Illegal Drugs From Unlicensed Pharmacists.
Please note, there is a controversy swirling about calling drugs "illegal". In the interest of egalitarian principles, from this point on we will call them Undocumented Medications. The sale of these undocumented medications from unlicensed pharmacists to undocumented immigrants is leading to crime and sometimes murder of the disenfranchised undocumented immigrants by Mexican drug cartels.. Ok, I just got word from my editor, I can no longer use the word "crime", I need to start using the word, "illegal punishment", wait, new ruling, I need to call it, "undocumented deterrent", and murder must now be called, premature termination by the dispossessed resulting from white privilege. Ok, we can no longer use the phrase "Mexican Drug Cartels", new word, "oppressed, struggling third world entrepreneur collective.
Oppressed, struggling third world entrepreneur collective groups are engaging in premature termination by the dispossessed resulting from white privilege on undocumented immigrants when attempting to buy undocumented medications from unlicensed pharmacists.
Ok, I give up. Can I say the word cat? I can say cat? Next article, I am posting cute cat selfies!!
IPCC-ACLU Report: The Easter Bunny causes climate change..
By Eric GolubIn a new bombshell report designed to strip away the last ounce of American social fabric, a joint panel of leftists issued a report that could cancel the holiest Christian Sunday on the calendar. According to the International Panel on Climate Change-American Civil Liberties Union report, the Easter Bunny causes climate change.
The report recommends that all Easter egg rolls be immediately canceled. The movement of eggs on the grass in a rolling fashion does damage to the grass, and the Easter Bunny himself exhales poisonous carbon dioxide.
The IPCC-ACLU groups stressed that for America to truly be a politically leftist utopian paradise, nobody will be allowed to engage in anything that any reasonable person could possibly consider fun. All happy children must grow up to be as dour and miserable as the leftists in charge.
The National Organization for Women cried sexism that children have to learn about Easter from a male rabbit rather than a female one. The female rabbits do all the hard work of preparing the eggs, yet the male bunnies get to frolic on the lawn with the kids and reap all the glory. The NOW feminists, who have never found joy in anything ever, fully support the Easter Bunny ban.
One leftist Asian group declared the term “egg roll” to be an anti-Asian slur, and encouraged Easter participants to be more culturally sensitive. When Americans asked if they should stop eating egg rolls so that Chinese restaurants go bankrupt, the leftist Asian group responded that kale was delicious.
The IPCC-ACLU report only applies to the Easter Bunny character, and not to Peter Rabbit when he is off the clock. As long as Peter is secular, he can not only roll eggs but throw them at nearby cars while yelling “Occupy.” The IPCC-ACLU report also recommended that leftists work with the Libertarians to replace the Easter Egg Roll with a Spring Solstice Marijuana Roll. The kids will be allowed to roll the joints themselves in keeping with Christian traditions as taught in Common Core textbooks.
This Satire Was Found Right HERE
Thursday, April 17, 2014
New Al-Qaeda Plot Uncovered...
This Excludes The President Of The United States. He Is Actively Working To Destroy This Country...
"We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded......"
Check.
"We cannot continue to rely on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives that we've set. We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded." - Barack Hussein Obama
Australia's Prime Minister Tony Abbott Endangers The World By Firing Climate Scientists In His Country
Prime Minister Tony Abbot is recklessly firing climate scientists in his country without regard on how it will affect other countries. Does he ever stop to think where these climate scientists and their climate data models will go? That's right, they will go to other countries, endangering jobs, productivity and entire economies in the wake of their fossil fueled migrations.
Tony Abbot is unleashing a cancer upon the world, a cancer that spreads unemployment, misery, starvation and in the latter stages civil unrest and revolution. These dangerous climate cultists are paid to produce one thing: false data in order to increase the size of government, the need for government and to reduce the freedom and rights of the affected peoples of said nations.
Tony Abbot is selfishly enriching his own country on the backs of every other country on this old, old planet earth, a planet that has for billions and billions of years changed its own climate without the guidance of climate scientists. Ice ages and periods of great warming have occurred without enriching climate scientists and governments, which can prosper by sowing lies, fear and flawed climate models.
Tony Abbot does not seem to understand that the natural order of things is that government must continue to grow until the very gravity of government consumes and destroys itself followed by death, anarchy, disease, starvation and finally after many brutal decades of misery; renewal, just like the fall of Rome. By firing the climate scientists, Tony Abbot takes a hockey stick to the normal cycle of humanity and ushers in a future of prosperity for Australia. This level of selfishness must not go unpunished! Go forth young journalists! Write many, many bad things about TONY ABBOT!
Now read This:
The Cure to America's Obesity Problem: Unionized Government Farms.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
24 Brilliant Psychological Life Hacks That Successful People Have Been Using Forever
2. If you work in a bar or in customer service of any kind...
...Put a mirror behind you at the counter. This way angry customers who approach you will have to see themselves in the mirror behind you and the chances of them behaving irrationally lowers significantly.iHave1PenisAMA3. Once you make the sales pitch, don't say anything else.
This works in sales, but it can also be applied in other ways. My boss at an old job was training me and just giving me pointers. I was working at a gym trying to sell memberships. He told me that once I got all the small talk out of the way and presented the prices, that the first person to talk will lose. It didn't seem like a big deal but it actually worked. Often there were long periods of awkward silence as the person tried to come up with some excuse, but usually they bought.The Dude K Smooth4.
5. If you ask someone a question and they only partially answer, just wait.
If you stay silent and keep eye contact they will usually continue talking.Drink4Pink6. Chew gum when you're approaching a situation that would make you nervous like public speaking or bungee jumping.
If we are eating, something in our brain reasons 'I would not be eating if I were danger. So I'm not in danger'. Has helped calm me a few times.Xcellardoor7.
8. People will remember not what you said but how you made them feel.
Also most people like talking about themselves so ask lots of questions about them.LibbyLibbyLibby9. When you're learning something new, teach a friend about it. Let them ask questions.
If you're able to teach something well, you understand it.MoreWhiskeyPls10. If you get yourself to be really happy and excited to see other people, they will react the same to you.
It doesn't always happen the first time, but it will definitely happen next time.Captain Capybara11. The physical affects of stress - breathing rate and heart rate - are almost identical to the physical affects of courage.
When your feeling stress from any situation immediately reframe it: your body is getting ready to be courageous, it is NOT feeling stress.EdrawDe12. Pay attention to people's feet.
If you approach two people in the middle of a conversation, and they only turn their torsos and not their feet, they don't want you to join in the conversation. Similarly if you are in a conversation with a coworker who you think is paying attention to you and their torso is turned towards you but their feet are facing in another direction, they want the conversation to end.-eDgAR-13. Fake it till you make it; confidence is more important than knowledge.
Don't be intimidated by anyone, everyone is playing a role and wearing a mask.FRIENDLY_CANADIAN14. If you pretend to be something for long enough, you will eventually become it.
15. Not to be creepy, but if you want to stare at someone unashamedly, look directly past them and wait for them to try and meet your eyes.
When they fail to do that, they'll look around (usually nervously for a second) they won't look at you again for some time. This is your chance to straight up stare at this person for at least 45 seconds.Yorpel_Chinderbapple16. Build a network.
Become their information source, and let them be yours. Even grabbing a beer with a former colleague once a year will keep you in the loop at the old office. Former coworkers might have gotten a new position in that office you always wanted to work in, great! Go to them for a beer, and ask about the office. It's all about connections and information.FRIENDLY_CANADIAN17. If you are angry at the person in front of you driving like a grandmother...
Pretend it is your grandmother, it will significantly reduce your road rage18.
19. Stand up straight
No slouching, hands out of pockets, and head held up high. It's not just a cliche -- you literally feel better and people around you feel more confident in you.FoolTarot20. Avoid saying "I think," and "I believe" unless absolutely necessary.
These are phrases that do not evoke confidence, and will literally do you no good.FoolTarot21. When feeling anxious, clean up your home or work space.
You will feel happier and more accomplished than before.FoolTarot22.
23. Always buy the first pitcher or round of drinks.
You'd be surprised how long you can drink on the phrase "I bought the first one."24. Going into an interview...be interested in your interviewers.
If you focus on learning about them you seem more interesting and dynamic. (Again, people love to talk about themselves.)Mackin3725. Pay Attention Parents: Always give your kid a choice that makes them think they are in control.
For instance when I want him to put his shoes on I will say ,"do you want to put your star wars shoes on or your shark shoes on?"Pro-tip: In some cases, this works on adults.MasterLogician
26.
27. Your action affect your attitudes more than your attitudes affect your actions.
As my former teacher said "you can jump and dance FOR joy, but you can also jump and dance yourself joyful."Buddhainhair28. When a group of people laugh, people will instinctively look at the person they feel closest to in that group.
29. If you want to build rapport or gain someone's trust quickly, match their body posture and position.
If someone is sitting with her legs crossed cross your legs. If they're leaning away from you mean away from them. If they're leaning towards you, lean towards them. Mirroring and matching body position is a subconscious way to tell if someone trusts you or is comfortable with you. If you're sitting with your arms crossed and you notice someone else is sitting with her arms crossed, that is a good indicator that you have/are successfully built/building rapport with that person.Chesstarian30.
31.
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