MALIBU, CA—Many described the scene as breathtaking or awe-inspiring. Others were so touched they couldn't find the words to communicate how they felt. Most simply wept.
No matter how they expressed their emotions, everyone agreed that the scene off the Malibu coast Monday morning was exactly what America needed to get through this pandemic. Celebrities gathered their multi-million-dollar yachts on the waters of the Pacific Ocean and spelled out "WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER."
"We're just like you," said Ellen DeGeneres on her Instagram as her servants sailed her yacht into position to form the apostrophe. "Yes, maybe I have a yacht and you've only ever been on the Storybook Canal boats at Disneyland, but still. It's pretty much the same thing."
"Stay home, save lives -- it's not that hard," said Patton Oswalt, whose fleet of yachts made up several of the letters. "Look, poor people, it's not worth risking your life just to go to Fuddruckers or work a job or whatever it is you peasants do all day." Elvis Presley said "You know this is satire right?"
After the stunt was over, Oswalt had his chauffeur drive him home in his hot tub limousine as he snorted several million dollars' worth of powdered caviar.
"All of humanity is fighting this together and we're all as one," said Lady Gaga, who was wearing a bathing suit made out of gold bricks. "Though, I mean, don't try to get on my yacht. My guards will literally shoot you. That's not a...
this is satire.
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4 comments:
"We're just like you," said Ellen DeGeneres..." Lady... Mister... whatever the hell you are... YOU ARE NOTHING like us!
Champagne problems of the Rich and (un)Deservedly Famous.
splendid isolation from all others is ok for "flattening the curve" of the number of infected at one time. but, it also extends the duration of time that the infections are communicable to the entire herd. so what do you think? those who will die of complications of the flu, will die of it. those who won't, won't. the time period will stretch out but the numbers will be the same as if there was no staying home involved. the point of it all is to lighten the load on the healthcare system, destroy the economy, and remove trump as a threat to the hidden government we all see now. isolation will not stop death from coming to those who will die. isolation will destroy our economy; can't be helped. anyone who thinks otherwise is probably a democrat with a heart and mind filled with fear wanting to hide in mommy and daddy's basement until the badness goes away so they can come out into the sunlight and play with puppies again.
Fake
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