Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Hu's On First With Two Idiots...
Obama: John Kerry! Nice to see you. What's happening, I Lost My Teleprompter?
John Kerry: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
Obama: Great. Lay it on me.
John Kerry: Hu is the new leader of China.
Obama: That's what I want to know.
John Kerry: That's what I'm telling you.
Obama: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
John Kerry: Yes.
Obama: I mean the fellow's name.
John Kerry: Hu.
Obama: The guy in China.
John Kerry: Hu.
Obama: The new leader of China.
John Kerry: Hu.
Obama: The Chinaman!
John Kerry: Hu is leading China.
Obama: Now whaddya' asking me for?
John Kerry: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
Obama: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
John Kerry: That's the man's name.
Obama: That's who's name?
John Kerry: Yes.
Obama: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
John Kerry: Yes, sir.
Obama: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
John Kerry: That's correct.
Obama: Then who is in China?
John Kerry: Yes, sir.
Obama: Yassir is in China?
John Kerry: No, sir.
Obama: Then who is?
John Kerry: Yes, sir.
Obama: Yassir?
John Kerry: No, sir.
Obama: Look, John Kerry. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
John Kerry: Kofi?
Obama: No, thanks.
John Kerry: You want Kofi?
Obama: No.
John Kerry: You don't want Kofi.
Obama: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
John Kerry: Yes, sir.
Obama: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
John Kerry: Kofi?
Obama: Milk! Will you please make the call?
John Kerry: And call who?
Obama: Who is the guy at the U.N?
John Kerry: Hu is the guy in China.
Obama: Will you stay out of China?!
John Kerry: Yes, sir.
Obama: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
John Kerry: Kofi.
Obama: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
Old Jokes From The USSR, soon to be New Jokes For The USSA
What is it that doesn’t knock, growl or scratch the floor?
A machine made in the USSR for knocking, growling, and scratching the floor.
It is the middle of the night. There is a knock at the door. Everyone leaps out of bed. Papa goes shakily to the door. ‘It’s all right,’ he says, coming back. ‘The building’s on fire.’
A shopper asks a food store clerk, ‘Are you all out of meat again?’ ‘No, they’re out of meat in the store across the way. Here we’re out of fish.’
Why doesn’t the Soviet Union send people to the Moon?
They are afraid they won’t come back.
A man fell asleep on a bus. When someone stepped on his foot, he woke with a start and applauded. ‘What are you doing, citizen?’ ‘I was dreaming I was at a meeting.’
‘What is the difference between Pravda [Truth] and Izvestia [The News]?’
‘There is no truth in The News, and no news in the Truth.’
Boom! Trey Gowdy Is In The Room! He Points Out The Hypocrisy, Stalling, Lying and Obfuscation In The Benghazi Scandal
Trey Gowdy
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
| Trey Gowdy | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Member of the U.S. House of Representatives from South Carolina's 4th district | |
| Incumbent | |
| Assumed office January 3, 2011 | |
| Preceded by | Bob Inglis |
| Personal details | |
| Born | August 22, 1964 Greenville, South Carolina, U.S. |
| Political party | Republican |
| Residence | Spartanburg, South Carolina |
| Alma mater | Baylor University, B.A., University of South Carolina, Columbia, J.D. |
| Profession | Attorney at law |
| Religion | Southern Baptist |
| Website | www.gowdy.house.gov |
Harold Watson "Trey" Gowdy III (born August 22, 1964) is an American politician who has been the U.S. Representative forSouth Carolina's 4th congressional district since 2011. He is a member of the Republican Party. The district includes much of theUpstate region, including Greenville and Spartanburg.
Before his election to Congress, he was the solicitor (district attorney) for the state's Seventh Judicial Circuit, comprisingSpartanburg and Cherokee counties. From 1994 to 2000, he was a federal prosecutor with the U.S. Attorney for the District of South Carolina.
Early life, education, and family[edit]
Gowdy was born in Greenville, but grew up in Spartanburg and currently calls Spartanburg home. He is the son of Novalene (née Evans) and Dr. Harold Watson "Hal" Gowdy, Jr.[1][2] Trey graduated from Spartanburg High School in 1982. He earned a B.A. in history from Baylor University in 1986. He was a member of Kappa Omega Tau, a service/social Fraternity while at Baylor University. He earned a J.D. degree from the University of South Carolina School of Law in 1989. In law school, he was a member of the scholastic honor society "Wig and Robe."
Gowdy and his wife Terri have two children: Watson and Abigail. Watson is a sophomore in college and Abigail is a 10th grader. Terri Dillard Gowdy is a teacher's aide in Spartanburg School District.
Legal career[edit]
Following law school, he clerked for the late John P. Gardner on the South Carolina Court of Appeals and United States District Court Judge Ross Anderson. He then went into private practice before becoming a federal prosecutor in April 1994. He was awarded the Postal Inspector’s Award for the successful prosecution of J. Mark Allen, one of “America’s Most Wanted” suspects.
In February 2000, he left the United States Attorney’s Office to run for 7th Circuit Solicitor. He defeated incumbent Solicitor Holman Gossett[3] in the Republican primary. No other party even put up a candidate, ensuring his election in November. He was reelected in 2004 and 2008, both times unopposed. During his tenure, he appeared on “Forensic Files” twice, as well as Dateline NBC andSCETV.[4] He prosecuted the full gamut of criminal cases including 7 death penalty cases.
When the state faced a budget crunch that forced many employees to go on unpaid furloughs, Gowdy funneled part of his campaign account into the solicitor's budget so his staff could keep working.[5]
More Trey Gowdy:
Boom! Gowdy's In The Room!
The Bombardier Beetle Discriminates Against The Hungry..
Bombardier Beetle when threatened, sprays the attacker with a boiling hot mixture of caustic chemicals reaching 212° F (100° C). Even more impressive, the bombardier beetle can aim the poisonous eruption in the direction of the harasser.
The beetle itself is not harmed by the fiery chemical reaction. Using two special chambers inside the abdomen, the bombardier beetle mixes potent chemicals and uses an enzymatic trigger to heat and release them.
The foul concoction does burn and stain the skin. This defense proves effective against everything from hungry spiders to curious humans.
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