90 Miles From Tyranny

Friday, July 19, 2013

I Have A Terrible Confession That I Want To Get off of My Chest - Please Don't Hate Me.

Ok, so here it goes, it has been a long time coming, but I just need to get it out there and let the chips fall where they may...I am addicted to Sizzurp. It started innocently shortly after my idol, Justin Bieber started imbibing:

Some people call it "Purple Drank", or "Lean". They are just not down with the latest terminology right my mamma jammas?

Anyways, I started with just Robitussin and sprite, but then I thought to myself, "I be jonesin' fo mo flava" so I added skittles to the mix. It was a revelation ... for a while anyways....

I needed more flava, sprite was fizzy and sweet, but as I began to feel my liver squeal from the sizzurp I needed more flavor (sic).

I thought, If I could get more caffeine, more flava and perhaps add some tannin to mix, my world would be whole.. no longer would I feel the guilt of my white privilege, I might be able to commune with the schtruggle, maybe feel less guilty about having a job and being able to pay taxes for the more needy and unprivileged.

Then It came to me, tea would fit the bill, but the piece de resistance was watermelon ice tea. Perfect!

One sip of this and I was immediately compulsed to download the T-pain autotune iphone app. I will be the next great rapper, if i can only catch a break!

But anyways, I wanted to say stop dissing on my bro Trayvon, stop making him look like a skittles eating wimp, he was a righteous gangsta. He was no wimp, he was rocking the sizzurp that night, just like me.