Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Are You A Lexophile?
If So, You Will Like These:
1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. Police were called to a day care, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
4. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
7. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
8. A thief who stole a calendar… got twelve months.
9. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
10. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U. C. L. A.
12. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
13. The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
14. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
15. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
16. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
17. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
18. A will is a dead giveaway.
19. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
20. A backward poet writes inverse.
21. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
22. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
23. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
24. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
25. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
26. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
27. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
28. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
29. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
30. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
31. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
32. A calendar’s days are numbered.
33. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
34. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
35. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
36. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
37. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
38. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
39. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
40. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
41. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
42. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
18. A will is a dead giveaway.
19. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
20. A backward poet writes inverse.
21. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
22. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
23. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
24. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
25. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
26. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
27. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
28. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
29. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
30. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
31. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
32. A calendar’s days are numbered.
33. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
34. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
35. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
36. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
37. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
38. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
39. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
40. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
41. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
42. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
UK: Four Muslims operated rape gang with girls as young as 13
Yet when they come forward, they’re all too often called “racist” and sent away. The British authorities have sacrificed their own children, their little girls, on the altar of Islamic supremacism. Each and every complicit British law enforcement and government official ought to be tried and imprisoned. But instead, the agencies that allowed this to happen have been rewarded.
If the British authorities went after these Muslim beasts they way they go after and destroy anyone who opposes jihad terror, they wouldn’t have had this problem. The British government has adopted sharia policies in dealing with Muslims vs non-Muslims.
“Four men admit to grooming girls as young as 13,” by Helen Kreft, Derby Telegraph, February 12, 2018:
Four men who exploited vulnerable girls for sexual gratification were caught when one of their victims saw a film warning how girls can be groomed without realising it is happening, a court heard.
Taiyab Hussain, Mohammed Hizar Rizwan, Shaheem Ratyal and Sohail Raja Ali, all from Burton, pleaded guilty to child sex offences in court last week, after their victims bravely came forward to their families and a police investigation was launched.
Police chiefs have now spoken out to praise their bravery and urge any victims to come forward to tell family members or police.
In May last year one of the men’s victims bravely confided in a family member. Soon after a second victim also came forward and reported offences to police.
Officers were told by four girls, who were just 13 and 14 years old at the time of the offences, that they had been sexually abused between December 2016 and March 2017. The abuse first came to light after one of the girls watched a film that warned how girls can be groomed without realising it and she felt brave enough to tell her father. The men were subsequently arrested.
Hussain, 19, of Shobnall Street, pleaded guilty to two counts of sexual activity with a child, two counts of causing a child to engage in sexual activity and two counts of possession of an indecent photograph of a child.
Rizwan, 18, of Derby Road, pleaded guilty to four counts of sexual activity with a child, one count of causing a child to engage in sexual activity and one count of inciting a child to engage in sexual activity.
Ratyal, 19, of Grange Street, pleaded guilty to one count of sexual activity with a child and five...
MS-13 Resurgence Linked to UAC (Unaccompanied Alien Child) Arrivals and Lack of Interior Enforcement
The more than 500 MS-13 arrests were spread across 22 states, but they were concentrated in the areas where many UACs were resettled by the federal government. This influx provided MS-13 with a new pool of tens of thousands of mostly male teenagers from which to recruit new members. According to local gang investigators, these gangs have been known to recruit recently arrived Central American children as young as 10 years old.
Jessica Vaughan, the Center's director of policy studies, said, "Failed immigration policies are partly responsible for the rebound of MS-13, and immigration enforcement will have to be a key part of the strategy to combat them. Because so many of the MS-13 members are here illegally, they are more vulnerable to these tactics. If state and local law enforcement agencies are not allowed to cooperate fully with ICE, then they are missing out on an opportunity to put a dent in this gang's strength. In addition, Congress must act to fix our laws to give DHS more flexibility in dealing both with the influx of minors and families and with the sanctuaries."
The report provides recommendations, most found in the Secure America's Future Act (H.R.4760, commonly known as the Goodlatte bill), for Congress to combat the MS-13 resurgence.
Key findings:
- We found 506 MS-13 members arrested for or charged with crimes that were reported in 22 states. The largest number of cases were reported in California (92 cases), Maryland (84 cases), New York (80 cases), and Virginia (63 cases).
- MS-13 crimes are not primarily petty nuisance crimes. 207 MS-13 members were charged with murder. In addition we found more than 100 accused of conspiracy/racketeering, and dozens of other arrests for drug trafficking, sex trafficking, attempted murder, sexual assaults, and extortion.
- While most of the reports of MS-13 suspects in our case set did not include information on the immigration status of the individual, we could determine that...
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