"Hey, Democrat, what's your sign? Oh. Right. Duh." |
Capricorn Today you'll get the urge to express your opposition to legal immigration by accusing anyone opposing illegal immigration of racism. If someone voices skepticism, tell the story of how Julio of El Salvador's life was saved, if someone points out that he is a member of MS-13, accuse them of hating "brown" children. Ladies, tonight, cut all your hair off and tell men no more sex for them, it's not like they were knocking down your door anyways....
Aquarius Count your blessings as a Democrat, such as unfettered love and adoration from the media, newspapers, periodicals and Hollywood movies and "documentaries" that allows you to get away with lies, murder and keeping "the constituency" poor and voting for you. Tonight: Block access to a National Monument for veterans just for fun, unless its ANTIFA trying to desecrate it.
Pisces Don’t take no for an answer. Give no for an answer. The 5th amendment is your and your friends friend. Don't forget to ask George Soros for more money to pay off your "hard-working" election workers. On second thought, They produced 20 million less mail-in ballots this election year and lost the election to Trumpf... Fuck those losers, use the money instead to pay convicted sexual predator men dressed as strippers and hookers to read to 1st graders, corrupt their little minds while they are still young!
Aries A good day to use children as props for any leftist project you are looking to promote, Global War...errr Climate Change is a good one. Hug the children as you sell their futures to Socialism and suck their souls from them. Tomorrow check to see if any more trafficked children are available for this weeks democrat "get-together"
Taurus Discuss how to steal err.. redistribute income from the middle class with your caucus by using class warfare to justify your zeal to destroy hope. Tonight: keep your manicure scissors nearby in case your mistress gets her braces caught in your hair again. Tomorrow, vote to inject big pharm poison into newborns.
Gemini Practice saying into a mirror: "I just found out about it on TeeVee", while you are at it, tell yourself. "you are good enough, you are smart enough, and gosh darn it, Act Blue keeps giving me enough money to buy elections". Then check on the progress of your shredding crew.
Cancer Sad thoughts may bedevil you today. Clear them out of your head by thinking of destroying capitalism. Tonight: party like it's Kim Jong Un Day. Tomorrow, call the FDA on behalf of big pharma and pressure them to approve that new drug that may or may not be dangerous to prescribe, trust the science! Then, laugh all the way to the bank.
Leo Take time to ignore the deaths that communism caused and vote against appropriating money for commemorating the victims of communism. Tonight: clean your bong without checking to see if there's a hit in the chamber because your kids wouldn't smoke your shit, right?
Virgo A good day to lawyer up. Not that you did anything wrong! Still, a very, very good day to lawyer up. Tonight, cuddle up with those Jefferey Epstein tapes and reminisce about those good times on that island, those were the days!
Libra Accuse your opponents of playing the blame game. When they accuse you of playing the blame game by accusing them of playing the blame game, call them racists, sexists, misogynists, and homophobes until they give up on logic and walk away...
Scorpio Replenish your campaign coffers by sending out a fundraising email defending a cop killer because hey, he's a good communist, and we gots to stand together! Add a P.S. suggesting he should get into politics. Tomorrow, assure the Military Industrial Complex that there any still many good places to start a new war. Argentina needs to be liberated by its new found prosperity anyways.
More 90 Miles HERE
Taurus Discuss how to steal err.. redistribute income from the middle class with your caucus by using class warfare to justify your zeal to destroy hope. Tonight: keep your manicure scissors nearby in case your mistress gets her braces caught in your hair again. Tomorrow, vote to inject big pharm poison into newborns.
Gemini Practice saying into a mirror: "I just found out about it on TeeVee", while you are at it, tell yourself. "you are good enough, you are smart enough, and gosh darn it, Act Blue keeps giving me enough money to buy elections". Then check on the progress of your shredding crew.
Cancer Sad thoughts may bedevil you today. Clear them out of your head by thinking of destroying capitalism. Tonight: party like it's Kim Jong Un Day. Tomorrow, call the FDA on behalf of big pharma and pressure them to approve that new drug that may or may not be dangerous to prescribe, trust the science! Then, laugh all the way to the bank.
Leo Take time to ignore the deaths that communism caused and vote against appropriating money for commemorating the victims of communism. Tonight: clean your bong without checking to see if there's a hit in the chamber because your kids wouldn't smoke your shit, right?
Virgo A good day to lawyer up. Not that you did anything wrong! Still, a very, very good day to lawyer up. Tonight, cuddle up with those Jefferey Epstein tapes and reminisce about those good times on that island, those were the days!
Libra Accuse your opponents of playing the blame game. When they accuse you of playing the blame game by accusing them of playing the blame game, call them racists, sexists, misogynists, and homophobes until they give up on logic and walk away...
Scorpio Replenish your campaign coffers by sending out a fundraising email defending a cop killer because hey, he's a good communist, and we gots to stand together! Add a P.S. suggesting he should get into politics. Tomorrow, assure the Military Industrial Complex that there any still many good places to start a new war. Argentina needs to be liberated by its new found prosperity anyways.
More 90 Miles HERE