90 Miles From Tyranny

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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Tyranny Of South American Pastry


Living in South Florida means an immersion in South American/Latin/Spanish Culture. There is a wealth of different South American/Latin countries represented here: Cuba, Colombia, Venezuela, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, and Argentina among others. The Latin pastry shops are taking over and when Latin-American coworkers bring in pastries, they tend to select Latin American/Spanish pastries. One particular oddity about South American pastry is that you can get any fruit you want in a pastry, as long as it is guava. Guava is not a good tasting fruit. Apple you ask? Not offered, not baked. Cherry? nope, nada, nunca. The only fruit pastry they make is guava. When you bite into a guava pastry, you are expecting a tasty treat as the color is somewhere in between cherry and raspberry, you bite expectantly and bam, it hits you, actually it more likely fails to hit you; it is not particularly tangy or sweet, it is kind of bland with a slightly unpleasant taste, not real bad, but not something you would choose to eat barring being marooned on a lonely desert island with no food.

We need a little fruit diversity down here.

Can someone please invent a guava virus that destroys all guava fruit so we can get some good pastry down here? I'm begging.

Pictured on the right:  The oppressively bad tasting guava fruit. Yucky.

That Awkward Moment...


Man in Coma for 19 Years Asks to Go Back to Sleep


In what members of the medical community are calling an unprecedented development, a man who recently awoke from a 19-year coma has asked doctors to put him back to sleep.

At a press conference in Jacksonville, Fla., today, the man, James Dumont, 51, told reporters that at first he was excited to be conscious again, “But then I turned on the TV.”

Mr. Dumont said that the first images he saw on television were those of President Barack Obama giving a press conference.

“I was happy at first, because I thought, well, good, ‘Saturday Night Live’ is still on, and that’s my favorite show,” he said. “Then I realized that it was actually the real president at the White House, and I became very depressed.”

After hearing the president field questions about the state of the economy, immigration, gun control, the ability of the government to kill Americans without a trial, Syria and Benghazi, Mr. Dumont “ couldn't take it anymore. This is like a dystopian Orwellian novel”, he said.

Seeking escapism, Mr. Dumont changed the channel and saw the Kardashian clan starring in the latest installment of their hit television show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians.”
“That was really the straw that broke the camel’s back,” he said. “I don’t want to live in a country that exploits mentally impaired people like that.”

Mr. Dumont's doctor said that putting his patient back into a coma state would create an ethical quandary for the medical community: “Millions of other people would want the same thing.”

Elsewhere, a spokesman for the U.S. government said that it would soon issue drone attacks on Americans’ wireless phones, explaining, “It’ll be easy, since we’re already on the line listening in.”

This is satire and was copied and modified from a marxist zealot.

More Satire:

The Cure to America's Obesity Problem: Unionized Government Farms.

And You Thought I Was Bullshitting....


Women With Weapons


Why Does Capital One Employ Alec Baldwin?



More Alec Balwin News:
Alec Baldwin being investigated for possible hate crime

'Rude' Alec Baldwin fled to toilet, booted from plane
Alec Baldwin apologises for calling daughter, 11, a 'rude thoughtless pig'
In A fit of Rage, Alec Baldwin yells at photographer, "I know you were raped by a priest" as he attempts to break photographers arm

It Is time that CAPITAL ONE stops employing this out of control insane monster that they are enabling, empowering and unleashing upon people with lesser lawyers.


What in your wallet?  Tyranny and Oppression?


Game Of Thrones - Map Of Westeros



More Game Of Thrones:

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Game Of Thrones Character Map...

Peter Dinklage On Luck..

Daenerys Stormborn

Morning Mistress


Hot Pick Of The Late Night


Late Night Ladies

Monday, April 29, 2013

Girls With Guns

More Girls With Guns:

Poor Barbara Bush...