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Friday, April 18, 2014
Master Of All I Survey..
More On Nutjob Vegans:
Vegetarian Thanksgiving
Nut Job Vegans Make Website And Threaten Ex-Vegans Tempted By The Fruit Of Another Piece Of Bacon
I hope you choke on a vegan pizza while crying over a lady gaga song.....
Please do not View this Post unless you are a Vegan
Anne Hathaway's Descent Into Madness
Study: Vegetarians Less Healthy, Lower Quality Of Life Than Meat-Eaters
Study: Undocumented Immigrants Get 100% Of Their Illegal Drugs From Unlicensed Pharmacists.
Please note, there is a controversy swirling about calling drugs "illegal". In the interest of egalitarian principles, from this point on we will call them Undocumented Medications. The sale of these undocumented medications from unlicensed pharmacists to undocumented immigrants is leading to crime and sometimes murder of the disenfranchised undocumented immigrants by Mexican drug cartels.. Ok, I just got word from my editor, I can no longer use the word "crime", I need to start using the word, "illegal punishment", wait, new ruling, I need to call it, "undocumented deterrent", and murder must now be called, premature termination by the dispossessed resulting from white privilege. Ok, we can no longer use the phrase "Mexican Drug Cartels", new word, "oppressed, struggling third world entrepreneur collective.
Oppressed, struggling third world entrepreneur collective groups are engaging in premature termination by the dispossessed resulting from white privilege on undocumented immigrants when attempting to buy undocumented medications from unlicensed pharmacists.
Ok, I give up. Can I say the word cat? I can say cat? Next article, I am posting cute cat selfies!!
IPCC-ACLU Report: The Easter Bunny causes climate change..
By Eric GolubIn a new bombshell report designed to strip away the last ounce of American social fabric, a joint panel of leftists issued a report that could cancel the holiest Christian Sunday on the calendar. According to the International Panel on Climate Change-American Civil Liberties Union report, the Easter Bunny causes climate change.
The report recommends that all Easter egg rolls be immediately canceled. The movement of eggs on the grass in a rolling fashion does damage to the grass, and the Easter Bunny himself exhales poisonous carbon dioxide.
The IPCC-ACLU groups stressed that for America to truly be a politically leftist utopian paradise, nobody will be allowed to engage in anything that any reasonable person could possibly consider fun. All happy children must grow up to be as dour and miserable as the leftists in charge.
The National Organization for Women cried sexism that children have to learn about Easter from a male rabbit rather than a female one. The female rabbits do all the hard work of preparing the eggs, yet the male bunnies get to frolic on the lawn with the kids and reap all the glory. The NOW feminists, who have never found joy in anything ever, fully support the Easter Bunny ban.
One leftist Asian group declared the term “egg roll” to be an anti-Asian slur, and encouraged Easter participants to be more culturally sensitive. When Americans asked if they should stop eating egg rolls so that Chinese restaurants go bankrupt, the leftist Asian group responded that kale was delicious.
The IPCC-ACLU report only applies to the Easter Bunny character, and not to Peter Rabbit when he is off the clock. As long as Peter is secular, he can not only roll eggs but throw them at nearby cars while yelling “Occupy.” The IPCC-ACLU report also recommended that leftists work with the Libertarians to replace the Easter Egg Roll with a Spring Solstice Marijuana Roll. The kids will be allowed to roll the joints themselves in keeping with Christian traditions as taught in Common Core textbooks.
This Satire Was Found Right HERE
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