90 Miles From Tyranny

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Democrats Block Aid For Small Businesses While Advocating Aid For Terrorist Nation Iran...

IPCC-ACLU Report: The Easter Bunny causes climate change..

By Eric Golub
In a new bombshell report designed to strip away the last ounce of American social fabric, a joint panel of leftists issued a report that could cancel the holiest Christian Sunday on the calendar. According to the International Panel on Climate Change-American Civil Liberties Union report, the Easter Bunny causes climate change.

The report recommends that all Easter egg rolls be immediately canceled. The movement of eggs on the grass in a rolling fashion does damage to the grass, and the Easter Bunny himself exhales poisonous carbon dioxide.

The IPCC-ACLU groups stressed that for America to truly be a politically leftist utopian paradise, nobody will be allowed to engage in anything that any reasonable person could possibly consider fun. All happy children must grow up to be as dour and miserable as the leftists in charge.

The National Organization for Women cried sexism that children have to learn about Easter from a male rabbit rather than a female one. The female rabbits do all the hard work of preparing the eggs, yet the male bunnies get to frolic on the lawn with the kids and reap all the glory. The NOW feminists, who have never found joy in anything ever, fully support the Easter Bunny ban.

One leftist Asian group declared the term “egg roll” to be an anti-Asian slur, and encouraged Easter participants to be more culturally sensitive. When Americans asked if they should stop eating egg rolls so that Chinese restaurants go bankrupt, the leftist Asian group responded that kale was delicious.

The IPCC-ACLU report only applies to the Easter Bunny character, and not to Peter Rabbit when he is off the clock. As long as Peter is secular, he can not only roll eggs but throw them at nearby cars while yelling “Occupy.” The IPCC-ACLU report also recommended that leftists work with the Libertarians to replace the Easter Egg Roll with a Spring Solstice Marijuana Roll. The kids will be allowed to roll the joints themselves in keeping with Christian traditions as taught in Common Core textbooks.

A petition demanding the recall of fascist Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer went viral on Saturday, amassing a whopping 111,000 signatures at the time of publishing this article.

The Change.org petition looks set to exceed 200,000 names in the coming days.

The petition reads:

Recall Governor Whitmer. Her failure’s during the Covid-19 Corona Virus is causing more Michiganders to get sick. Closing and banning various non essential business’s and activities while leaving others open. Further promoting the pandemic. She has lied since day one with her #Fixthedamnroads which she has failed to do anything in this regards. The response to #PFAS was negligence and completely removing funding for #PureMichigan clearly shows her lack of anything positive for the State of Michigan.

Breitbart.com reports: Legally, the petition is meaningless, but it may indicate an appetite on the part of some Michiganders to remove their governor.

According to Ballotpedia, petitioners need to gather one-quarter of the number of votes in the previous gubernatorial election in order to trigger a recall process.

That equates to 1,062,647 valid signatures being required to put Whitmer’s recall on the ballot.

“Whitmer is more concerned about running for Vice President,” Dylan Raymond wrote as his reason for signing.

Mike Robinson echoed that theme: “She chooses her own political aspirations over the people of Michigan.”

Linda Blackerby wrote:

She needs to stop telling people they can’t paint or plant flowers?? Are we supposed to sit at home and be depressed?? I mean… What happened to the land of the Free?? People can practice Social distancing and stay safe still.

Meanwhile, activists are planning a protest at the state capitol on Wednesday.

The Michigan Conservative Coalition has announced “a vehicle rally to surround the Capitol Building” on April 15 at 12:00 p.m.

“Michigan’s typical small business owners obey laws, but they may not notice the progressive agenda being pushed by our radical leftist Governor Whitmer,” said Rosanne Ponkowski, president of the Michigan Conservative Coalition.

“Dope shops are open, while cigar shops are closed.”

“We can get this rally done and stay within the...