90 Miles From Tyranny : I Think I Have A Crush On Tiffany Trump, What Should I Do?

Sunday, April 2, 2017

I Think I Have A Crush On Tiffany Trump, What Should I Do?


So here is my dilemma:

I am old enough to be her father,
I am not rich,
I am not handsome,
I am not charming until I know you very well,
I am socially awkward,
What are my chances of dating her?


There I was tooling around the internet, minding my own damn business
when I happened on her Instagram Account, so I thought: cool, I will take a look...

I found out a few things about her: 
She is the daughter of Marla Maples, who still looks hot by the way:
Wait.
I HAVE A CRUSH ON MARLA MAPLES.
SHE IS IN MY AGE RANGE.

Ok, so I am not completely delusional, but check out Tiffany's Instagram page, she looks like she has a lot of fun, and tell that JERK she is dating to get lost!


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