Labor Day - Burgers, Brats and Bolshevism

How’s about some commie ketchup on that burger? It’s extra red. A little Marxist mustard for your dog? What about a pinch of socialist sauerkraut on that bubbling bratwurst?

Didn’t you know? That’s why you get the day off on Monday. That’s what your Labor Day barbecue commemorates: socialism. Delicious, juicy, smoky socialism with a side of potato salad (German, of course) and a game of Cornhole (everyone’s a winner!)—frills made affordable to Americans, American businesses and big government waste-fraud-and-abuse mills by, well, capitalism.

I know, I’m a killjoy, and, call me a hypocrite, but I’m grilling out Monday anyway. Still, fellas, while you’re sweating over that sizzling Weber this three-day weekend, just be sure to tip a stein to old Karl, Vladimir and Josef. Without those genocidal schmendricks, you’d be stuck in your cubical Monday, just like every other day, playing Candy Crush and checking fantasy football.

Just yankin’ your chain. I’m sure you’re a hard worker, and, I mean, isn’t that really what Labor Day is all about? Hard work?

Actually, no. Not at all. Hard work has nothing to do with it. Labor Day is about “labor,” and “labor,” since the 19th century at least, has been, and yet remains, one of the primary “progressive” euphemisms exploited by leftists (aka, Democrats) to further the redistributionist goals of the global socialist movement.

Ah, Labor Day: “From each according to his ability, to each according to his need!” “Workers of the world unite!”

And don’t forget to “look for the union label.”

No, I’m not being paranoid. The history of Labor Day is fascinating. And it really is rooted, 100 percent, in socialism.

In 1882 a couple of socialist cats named Matthew Maguire and Peter McGuire, both members of the Socialist Labor Party, proposed an official workers’ holiday in New York to be called...

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